


Just Out of Reach

by kaulayau



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Metafiction, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 11:56:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13787196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaulayau/pseuds/kaulayau
Summary: The path is yours to climb.





	Just Out of Reach

**Author's Note:**

> I still cannot believe that I have not finished this freakin game
> 
> february ficlet challenge day 11: character b has amnesia.

* * *

There isn’t a choice that hasn’t been made. Up, down. Yes, no. Black, white. Him, her. Outcomes are outcomes and consequences are consequences. After a while, it gets tiring to see the same faces and hear the same words. 

That’s Corrin’s price to pay for immortality. For the chance to bring back the dead. For the chance to soft-reset and start from the beginning. Even as things grow old, even if newer, better stories bud in their place, this will never change. There is always something there.

* * *

Corrin sees a blue glow, an empty space, a crumble of stardust, an untamable stream of codes. Corrin sees the gods. 

“This is your decision,” they say, their voice a singular, large language. “Child of fire, this is your fate. Do you accept it? Do you allow it?”

“Yes. Yes, I do. I want to save her.” Corrin doesn’t remember who she is. 

The world disappears and returns with the push of a button. 

* * *

Corrin watches the story unfold. There is a prince, or two. A princess, or two. Color contrast and archetypes. A fairy tale setting. Horses and knights and bows and arrows. A stillborn dream. Rigid limbs. Warped perspective. Hours and hours and hours and hours. 

There is a mother that Corrin doesn’t know much about — that disappears after ten minutes. 

To the left, there is a great, crackling storm, a conquest for glory, a tightly-woven family without bloodlines. To the right, there is a fierce, gentle sunlight, a birthright forever unbroken, a benevolent connection that has never let go. They are rivals, these groups for reasons yet to be clearly told. 

It feels new every time. But what happens every time?

* * *

In the midst of it, there she is. She, who is neither dark or light, weak or powerful, joyful or sad. She is blue, the waters, the sky, the breeze, the earth. This world has no room for blue, but she remains, folding for nothing, folding for nothing. She is resilient. She is the same, throughout change and difference. Perhaps that’s just how her mind works. Perhaps she knows better than the rest of them, the others, the ragtag, unscrupulous characters collected from every searchable crevice. 

Her voice is like water, flowing, stopping, shifting, melting, soothing, scalding. She sings, and time stops. She sings, and dragons turn to dust. She sings, and something is born in the emptiness of Corrin’s world. Maybe she is something different. 

Corrin doesn’t deserve everything she gives. 

Oh, but what if it’s not real? What if Corrin is blind? It’s not real. Her golden eyes, her golden smile, her golden dance. It’s not real. 

Azura. Azura, Azura, Azura. 

She fades. She fades, like the tide. 

* * *

Corrin sees a blue glow, an empty space, a crumble of stardust, an untamable stream of codes. Corrin sees the gods. 

“This isn’t what I wanted,” Corrin tells them, numb. “You couldn’t let me get to her. You couldn’t let me get to her. You couldn’t let me choose her.” C, B, A. But S doesn’t exist with this skin. But what does that mean? What does _Corrin_ mean? “I was trapped.”

“This is your fate,” say the gods. “Fate can often change, child of fire. Do you accept it?”

“Always. Always. Bring me back. I want to save her.”

The world disappears and returns with the push of a button. 

* * *

What happens this time? 

* * *

The elders are the crutch and the youngest are the handicap, Corrin learns. With training, with sealing, with help, this will change. 

* * *

Azura sings. Sometimes it is merciful, clement, kind — the rain. Sometimes it is brutal, ferocious, ruthless — the thunder. Corrin is under her spell.

But she fades. She fades, like sea foam.

* * *

Corrin sees a blue glow, an empty space, a crumble of stardust, an untamable stream of codes. Corrin sees the gods. 

“Why did it end this way?” Corrin shouts. “Why was I — complacent?”

The gods are a roar. “You lack patience, child of fire. You lack awareness.” They fall silent. “This… is your fate. Do you accept it?”

Corrin considers it carefully. But the question has already been answered. “Yes. I — yes, I do. I accept.” What does it mean? 

But the world is disappearing and returning with the push of a button. 

* * *

What happens now?

* * *

There are plans to make, strategies to execute. There is an enemy to defeat — a common one, a shapeless one. They don’t have a chance. 

* * *

She makes Corrin want to feel something. Shs makes Corrin want to break this invisible, undefeatable bond. She makes Corrin want to laugh and laugh until there is nothing left. She makes Corrin want to sob and sob until there's nothing left. She makes Corrin want to speak to her until the night ends. She makes Corrin want to hold her hand. She makes Corrin want to protect her from anything with knives. She makes Corrin want to scream until this goes away. She makes Corrin want to latch on. She makes Corrin want to live. She makes Corrin want to breathe. She makes Corrin want to stay with her. She makes Corrin want to dance with her. She makes Corrin want to kiss her. 

She makes Corrin want to be loved. Not this presented, unconditional thing that everyone else offers. Something… else. 

And yet she fades. She fades, like the grey waves of the ocean. 

* * *

Like a song.

* * *

Corrin sees a blue glow, an empty space, a crumble of stardust, an untamable stream of codes. 

Corrin sees the gods. 

They seem tired. Finished. “Do you know?”

“Know what?” Corrin is floating. “What do I know?”

The voice of the gods echoes off of nothing. “You have been here a million times before. You have come here, and come back, again, and again, and again. Different bodies. Different histories. And all the same dream.” It stops. “Why, child of fire?” 

Her. It has always been her, even if Corrin can’t bring her face, her name, her words, to mind. “I…” Corrin can’t find it. “She needs me. I need her — to — to —”

“Even you are not certain.”

“You are the gods.” Where is Corrin getting this? It’s confusing. “You do not understand.”

“Child of fire,” the gods reply, “We have seen all, created all. There is nothing under our grasp.”

“But — you cannot read minds. You are gods, but you are not omnipotent.” Corrin is lost. The gods are listening. “It’s — _she_ is the only one that exists. This is — fabricated. Artificial. But she — _she_ is the only person in the world. She is my everything. And I cannot remember her name.” There is nothing but light here. Nothing but light. “I need to see her again. I need to remember her. I need to keep her. I keep losing her. I don’t even — I need to _keep_ her.” What is there to say? Corrin knows nothing. “Time. I need more time. Give me more time. This time, I’ll set it right.”

“And you have said that before.” Oh. “Humanity is fickle. You are not satisfied with a single chance. You have chosen eternity, and such is your fate. Such is your punishment. Such is your payment.” The gods seem sorry, just for a moment. “Do you accept it?”

How has Corrin answered before?


End file.
